Daily Archives: July 16, 2011

Sorrow

Whatever possessed me to think I could do this on my own?
I have lost one son to hatred and anger – I miss him so much and love him so much and it tears my heart into tiny pieces, this loss.
And now I am losing another son. Same reasons. It’s like being stuck in a continuous loop. Anger. Hatred. Self-loathing combined with self-obsession. Your typical teenage rebellion but fuelled by much much more.
And I feel totally out of resources, totally alone, dreading losing him, yet feeling as though I have lost him already. I miss him, I love him, I can’t bear to go through this again.

What a return to the Wibsite. I’d been meaning to log on for ages but suddenly find myself needing a safe place and somehow this was it. Please pray for my mixed-up teen and my other mixed-up teen and their mixed-up mum who had foolishly thought things were on the up.