A bill and a present from a holidaying friend (You know who you are. THANK YOU!)
We are going mad.
Today the urgency has increased. A chance encounter with someone who poses a degree of risk to our family; a someone who has some reason to hang around our village; a someone whose presence is unsettling, unnerving, has made it hard to settle tonight and has, by their sheer existance, robbed me of an easy night’s sleep.
Why do I fear thee, shadow of the past?
Is it perhaps that I know deep down I hold your highest card.
The criticism I dare not show, the refusal to pop the bubble of fantasy
that burns hidden deep within my boy.
My boy? Yes, my boy. Not stolen away, you’d lost him long before.
But that’s not the stuff of fairy tales, is it?
It doesn’t reconcile your guilt. His guilt.
Unfounded and yet profound.
And so that tantalising, forbidden fruit beckons
with a thousand unanswered questions
and I have to stand aside and hope.
Hope that the power of love runs deep enough
to shine a beacon to guide him home and light the shadows.
Would that I could lighten your shadows too.