It’s been a good one. All things considered, it’s been a good one.
I have grown closer to all of my family, especially Dad, and been able to see his life to its conclusion without a single regret. I have been able to spend time with people I care about and to focus on the important things in life. I have faced challenges and grown in wisdom and knowledge, in understanding and hopefully in my ability to care… though I know more challenges still lie ahead. I have got into more regular contact with some people who are special friends and made many new ones – though losing some to the natural wastage of marriage, a real sadness to me – and have been incredibly blessed by the Christian love I have experienced. And God hasn’t let go of me for one minute, even in my darkest hour.
The year ahead beckons, full of unknowns. The days following the funeral, when everyone goes home and I am left alone with my boys and an empty bungalow (and two extra mouths to feed in the form of two gerbils), lurk rather forebodingly ahead of me and I am daunted too by the enormity of caring for my sons alone. But I’m not alone. And there will be so many opportunities to develop my life in all sorts of new ways. I can develop into new avenues for earning my keep as I intend still only to teach mornings and maybe to give piano lessons or private tuition or even find something completely different for a few afternoons a week, leaving the remainder for doing good things like getting housework out of the way, doing my studying for local preaching, reading, writing letters, just walking quietly on the Downs. I have found a singing club I really fancy joining, and am seriously tempted to sign up for the dance class that’s starting on Wednesday.
And travel… that’s on the agenda too. Visits to my siblings – haven’t been there for ages! To my childhood friend in the Midlands. To shipmeets. To France. Anywhere I want to go, planned or on a whim. (OK, so it’s finances permitting, but a woman can dream!) And to do it without guilt or regret… thanks for that gift, Dad!
To all my wiblogging friends: Thank you for your prayers, love, support and chocolate over the difficult times this year, and for your fun and friendship too. I wish you a peaceful, happy and fulfilling New Year… and to that I raise my mug of hot chocolate 🙂