I’ve delivered the kids (coughing and sneezing and snuffling) to the leisure centre for the day. (Yes, I know this is utterly irresponsible and they’ll be a) worse when they get home and b) spreading it to all the other little kiddiwinks, but for today I don’t really care!) I have packed Dad’s bag and loaded his mattress into the car. I have collected some offcuts of carpet from my friend with a view to putting them down in my hallway and have sadly discovered there’s just not enough.. and now I’ve stopped. I’ve drunk coffee and played Rosencrantz and Everlasting Sentences until I just daren’t put it off any longer.
So forgive me, but I am going to take gratuitous advantage of you. I am going to use you as my motivator. In fifteen minutes I shall return and tell you what (if anything) I have achieved. I will not lie, I will not invent sundry household tasks to add to the list, I will not prevaricate any longer. Smudgie, off your bottom, woman, and get to work.