(hmm… naughty wiblog.. just ate an entire entry without reason or warning. Naughty, naughty wiblog!)
So where was I? Ah yes, I was in the classroom. It was a very ordinary day – a frantic round of gopher-bopping interspersed with occasional snippets of teaching. (A little explanation is maybe in order. Teaching my classes is very much like the arcade game – the real arcade game in the seaside arcades – where a toy gopher sticks its head out of a hole and you have to hit it with a hammer as fast as you can before more appear from other holes waiting to be bopped. As soon as I have quietened one twittery child, another sticks its head up and starts twittering around, and if you don’t act fast you have a whole classroom of them!) I taught lesson one – 55 minutes – then lesson two – 55 minutes – and finally the bell went for break.
Up to the staffroom quick as a flash for a quick fix of caffeine and chocolate. Oooooooh, wonderful. Then, as the clock ticked on towards lesson three, I nipped downstairs to the loo. Hmmm… something’s up with the zip on my trousers. It seems to be snagged somehow and won’t move. Of course, it’s a side zip and I can’t actually see what I’m doing due to certain parts of my anatomy being somewhat in the way. (I really must go on a diet soon!)
Battle ensues… but the zip will not budge. It is actually falling apart in situ and the teeth are in a total tangle. One quick yank of the zipper and…….. the little toggly bit comes off in my hand. I am trapped in my trousers… and desperate for relief! And at this moment, the bell goes for lesson three.
Rather stiltedly, I make my way back to the caravan. The children requesting to leave the lesson to go to the toilet meet with short shrift. “You should have gone at breaktime.. if I can wait until lunchtime, so can you!” Two more 55 minute lessons to endure. 55 minutes? Seemed like a lifetime. Gopher bopping became more efficient, teaching of maths possibly less so….. though for me it was a lesson in how slowly the hands of the clock can turn when you’re waiting and waiting for lunchtime.
Of course, it’d be far far too simple for me simply to have dashed home as soon as the bell went. Far too simple. I had to drive into town to meet a friend of my father’s who’s visiting, go to the lost property office at the bus station in search of Tiddles’ lost games kit, and take the friend out to lunch. I managed somehow to drive within the speed limit – probably due to the knowledge that I would not be able to withstand the stress of talking to a police officer in my current state. B was thrown into the car at high speed, without me actually stopping to think about it, and the abortive visit to the closed lost property office was really quite merciful. I flew back into the driver’s seat and made my way home just in time.
Scissors 1: Zip nil. Good excuse to buy some new trousers!!!