Pause for thought

My son locked himself in the lavatory today. He did indeed lock himself in, in the middle of a massive tantrum which began at my father’s house and resulted in me having to drag him out kicking and screaming before my Dad’s heart bore the consequences. Dad hadn’t been too well today anyway, what with the heat and having run out of his heart tablets, and I had visions of Tiddles’ tantrum and rudeness to my Dad pushing him over the edge. Tiddles decided to lock himself in the toilet as part of his grand performance and was rather perturbed to discover that he couldn’t open the bolt again.

It was rather a blessing, actually. He was in one of his more violent rages and so I decided just to leave him where he was until he calmed down and the shouting and swearing was replaced by the inevitable tears. It may sound cruel, but at least we were all safe and there was little harm he could come to in there.. apart from falling down the toilet and drowning, I suppose. One of the benefits of having a separate bathroom and toilet (he’s already broken the bathroom bolt in a tantrum, so that one doesn’t lock anyway)! A bit of a challenge getting him out, though, when he eventually calmed down an hour and a half later as there was no window apart from a small sealed window into the veranda and a ventilation fan which leads through the ceiling. The door is far more fragile than the frame and the bolt itself, so any attempt to force the issue was probably going to end in a smashed door – not ideal when you’re having visitors soon! It was then that I realised that all my friends are either unobtainable on a Friday evening or else not strong enough to be of assistance… apart from one hero who travelled the length of the Island to come to the rescue. I half expected him to arrive on his sturdy white charger, armour a-glistening in the evening sunlight. Three bent screwdrivers and one completely broken latch later and Tiddles was restored once more to his not particularly sympathetic mother.

If only we hadn’t a week to go until the summer holidays. I think we’re all ready for a holiday. I certainly don’t feel like finishing off the bedroom for them tonight – it’s all the special little finishing touches I was planning to do and they’re both in disgrace. At least I feel stronger again, now, for dealing with the tantrums, but they do put our relationship under a bit of a strain at times. I have to keep reminding myself that he could be far worse, and he’s a really sweet child the rest of the time.

News today, too, that yet another friend’s adoption has broken down – a friend who’s had her child even longer than I’ve had Tiddles and who’s shown incredible patience with this extremely difficult child. This means that of my adoption group, only two adoptions have been “successful”… and the other “success” experiences difficulties similar to the tantrum-seasons we have to cope with. I do so hope they tell prospective adopters these statistics, just to make sure people are really properly prepared for the impact which an emotionally-disturbed child can have on their family.

Still, he’s out… and he’s safe…. and I still love him (Honest I do!) … and at least I can go to the loo at last! 😉

5 thoughts on “Pause for thought

  1. I’m sorry, I did laugh 🙂 … just the picture of Tiddles having had his tantrum and ready to rejoin the world … and the door not opening …. I KNOW not at all amusing for you at the time … anyway, prayers for dealing with tantrums etc … you’re doing an awesome job (from what we ‘hear’ on the blog anyway) … and, having had to deal with a very ill grandfather last year (his only child (my mum) was overseas) I can understand the strain just having to cope with your dad puts you under …. so don’t ever feel like you’re failing, you’re doing an AMAZING job … and at the end of it you’ll have two young men who will appreciate all you’ve done for them (not that you do it for that reason, of course!)

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