I was the most boring teacher in the whole school today. In fact, I had to let my classes play a game of Mastermind just to retain my street cred (retain it? who am I kidding?) as having an ounce (slap wrist.. we don’t use ounces in school these days. Replace “ounce” with “28.3495 grams” if you please) of sense of humour in me. The only plus side is that people don’t expect humour of maths teachers anyway.
So why precisely didn’t I wear fancy dress and decorate my hair lavishly this morning, unlike me colleague who had even decorated each fingernail with a tiny face with red nose? Well, let me introduce you to my morning which began when the alarm went off at 5.45ish…
Get up, get washed and dressed and wash hair.
Put kettle on and prepare the breakfast trays.
Put Tiddles over a steaming bowl of Olbas oil and send Smudgelet to get washed and dressed all in red for school.
Go over to wake Dad and get him vertical. Discover that he’s not feeling too good and has a stiff shoulder from trying (I ask you – where’s the rolleyes smilie?) to mow his back lawn. He is unable to move his arm so needs a massage to relax the muscle in his shoulder (which I now can state with confidence is called the trapezius).
Home to supervise Tiddles taking his inhaler and cough medicine.
Wash out Smudgelet’s post-conjunctivitisy eyes and put drops in.
Wash Smudgelet’s hands thoroughly and apply ointment to eczema.
Wash out Tiddles’ extremely conjuntivitisy eyes (now transferred to the other one, of course!) and put drops in. Write out instructions on medication for Tiddles.
Pack bag of medication for Tiddles and send him to pack a bag of things to entertain himself at Grandad’s.
Find the Deep Heat for Grandad.
Feed children and myself simultaneously.
Supervise cleaning of teeth.
Apply copious quantities of extremely pink hair gel to Smudgelet’s head and encourage his rather sweet little curls into spike, sticking out randomly from his head.
Put out the bin bags from our house and Dad’s (usually Tiddles’ job, but under the circumstances….)
Deliver Tiddles to Grandad and Smudgelet to the childminder.
A bit slack of me not to dress up and decorate my hair really 😉
Of course, Tiddles insisted on having his hair done when I got home from work. His was far more effective. He looked a real treat with a stegasaurus design of spikes and horns across the top of his head in shocking pink. The only thing was, both he and Smudgelet had ears to match !!!
Oh what a shame red nose day is only once a year!